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Sunday, 28 November 2010

Ashes Blog, Day 5, Pre Morning Session

Morning Campers (ok we're well aware its 8.25pm but our bodies are running on Oz time!)

Today promises to be either a boring day or one of the best days of test cricket in recent memory.  All 3 results are pheasible, with the draw being the most obvious.  If England can pile on another 200runs by lunch we may just see a decleration from Mr Strauss and that could set-up a nervey finish for the Aussies.  If Australia take a few quick wickets we could see the England of old returning and Australia chasing little more than 150 in 2 sessions.  If England decide to bat out the day it will be rather boring and obviously the game will end in a tie.

Personally I would like to see England take the game to Australia, try and score quickly and go for the win.  If we lose 2 wickets we should be able to rely on Colly, Bell and Prior to see us through to a safe position.

MOD says 'Keep Australia out in the field all day, realistically we dont have much of a chance of winning, and doing this would enable us to knacker them out before the 2nd Test on Thursday'

Let me know what you guys think.

REA

Ashes Blog, Day 4, Afternoon Session

Straight in to this one chaps, no need for the usual pleasantries....

1st over in to the afternoon session and MIH is giggling inanely to himself, perhaps he's just seen his hair in the mirror?

MOD goes back to bigging himself up..... "I once spent 108 overs in the field"  REA asks if he was working as a scarecrow at the time! MIH chips in with 'I stayed a whole weekend once.....' He doesnt disappoint does he!

For what seems to be the 1000th time in the last four days, Ellie Gouldings version of Your Song comes on, If you havent heard it check it out, its refreshing and uplifting

It's 3am and the red wine is being cracked open, despite the best advice from BBC Sport we're going to drink. Score check at this pivitol Strauss 96* and Cook 55*.  A very courteous Michaelk Holding confirms the time for us

The late hour must be getting to MOD as he believes the first day of the test was Monday

3.08am and Strauss cuts for 4 to bring up his ton.  Sporadic applause in the lounge of 76, MOD is heard to remark 'What a guy!'  MIH applauds but does he know whats happened?!

The Chef takes this opportunity to remind himself to watch the ball, this is happening as England move to within 50 of the Aussie first innings total.

For those of you who missed it live; whilst handing over to Nasser Hussain, David Gower had a chair dropped on his foot.  What followed next can only be described as pure comedy, take a look, if you dont laugh you have no soul! (and I'm not talking Aretha Franklin or Marvin Gaye)

3.47 After a 20 minute interlude I return with an hour to go before tea to find MOD retiring to his room to take a call from his gf.  How the tables have turned!

3.54 Gone! Andrew Strauss, the Captain, the Hunk!  Dragged down the track by a wiley piece of bowling from Marcus North, Brad Haddin took care of the rest.  A J Strauss st Haddin b North 110

That'll do for now, see you all in an hour or maybe in the late morning

REA

Ashes Blog, Day 4 Luncheon

Before we get started, I'd like all three of you to visit my new website; http://www.casinoedge.com/ immediately after enjoying some lyrical musings from the best cricket commentary in Hatfield.

On to matters of a cricketing nature, Strauss brings up his 50 with a tickle of his legs and REA only just manages to contain his excitement.

As you may well have gathered, MIH has returned this evening to amuse us all for one more night. The main reason for his visit? Because he took our door key with him when he was last here.

In more generic news, a Dominos pizza coupon booklet has arrived which has caused residents of 76 High Dells to work themselves up in to what could only be described as a frenzy of excitement.

Five minutes later during a lull in play, MIH pipes up with: "Strauss has got 50!" Honestly, even Shakespeare couldn't create characters with such an entertainment value.

REA has chosen to take a break from avidly watching cricket to read Grazia as Strauss plays a fine shot which finds its way past his stumps down to fine leg for four runs.

After briefly putting down Grazia, REA comments: "Andrew Strauss is such a hunk!" I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions from that sentance.

However, in between being bothered by short balls Strauss is managing to play some expansive drives and REA's admiriation has now reached a similar level to that of Mark Chapman's toward John Lennon.

If you're wondering why there has not been any mention of Strauss' batting partner Alistair Cook, it's because his batting so far today has been almost as boring as his personality. None the less he's doing a sterling job (and we're sure he's a nice chap as well, the sort of bloke you'd want in your pub quiz team).

Next up comes the best moment of cricketing commentary since one unfortunate chap remarked: "The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willie." I am, of course referring to David Gower's scream of anguish while being mid-sentance. We immediately feared the worst for the poor chap; a heart attack? a sniper? No, someone put a chair on his foot.

Mitchell Johnson manages to drop a goober as Strauss looked to hit over the top. 30 seconds later MIH realised what had occured and shouted: "YES." Words fail me...

I have just been reliably informed that we have managed 500 page views. It is widely expected that 498 of these have come from a Mr L.B Pentagon of Bournemouth. However to the few others that have taken the time out to view this blog; what are you doing? Blokes at the BBC get paid to do this.

After being stuck on 49 for 12 balls, Cook manages to make his second 50 of the match. We are all delighted for the little scamp, maybe he'll celebrate by having a few Samuel Buca's tonight (on the other hand, he probably won't).

Just as I was about to sign off for this post, TL informs MIH that the Facebook message he is composing to one of his many chums is actually being posted on his own wall.

Also, REA has asked me to remind you all about the polls that can be seen on the right hand side of your screen so there they are.

As MIH starts to show a very uninterested TL his house on Google Streetview the players trudge off for lunch.

Regards,

Chief Sports Writer

MOD

Ashes Blog, Day 4, Mid-Morning Session

Good'ay Bruce, Good'ay Shane

MOD has returned from his dinner party, apparently he drank a £30 bottle of wine.... more anecdotes to come.

A few pieces of which you may find to be interesting (or funny):

Sir Beefy put his finger in a large crack during the pitch report, no lube needed....

The Chef takes a 2 to bring up 10,000 runs in first class cricket, I think it's safe to say his mum will be very proud!

After numerous renditions of Elton John's Your Song, the minions have decided MOD should audition for X-Factor 2011.  He says he doesnt want to, but we think he does in secret.

Bumble and Shane Warne exchange comments on 'the youth of today' its decided Warney is on crack.

The groundsman is on, doing a bit of patting down and some Whitewash freestyling

After rambling on about £40 worth of dominos pizza its decided MIH is on crack too

A glorious return to the laptops of UHCC for Freetetris.org, REA continues where he left off with a score of 153, MIH chips in with 89 and MOD follows up the rear with a meagre 85.  No doubt more tetris will be played during the night....

MIH has returned to his nursery school days by laughing at farts

Here's one for you all, how would one go about 'Flying off the handle'?  Is there an airport on said handle?

TL has now joined the number in the lounge, but he's making REA nervous by not sitting down.....

MIH is now in the kitchen boiling a chicken, not your usual midnight activity but MIH isnt your usual kinda guy!

On a serious note, it's good to see Andy Flower back at the Gabba after his operation yesterday, nasty things melanomas.

The Chef is now opening up with expansive drives and cuts for boundaries.

Time to sign off for a while, much cricket to watch!

REA

Saturday, 27 November 2010

Ashes Blog, Day 4

It's much excitement and glee that I can announce a surprise guest at 76...... MIH has turned up!  Let the bells ring out!

At the moment myself and MIH are partaking in a spot of MOTD, West Ham getting a much needed win (still hope they go down though.....)  I've also taken to playing online poker, THATS how bored I am!

Latest news from Oz is the grass is green, the ball is red and Straussy will score a ton today

MOD is out with his parents and should be back later this evening, maybe he'll have an after dinner anecdote to share with us

More from 76 during the morning session

REA

Ashes Blog, Pre day 4

Good evening blog fans, firstly I have to apologise for the distinct lack of blogging on my part yesterday.  This was down to a work xmas party and too much wine and whisky, but hey ho, I'm back now!  I just hope MOD and PP managed to keep you entertained.....

So Hussey and Haddin put on a record Ashes partnership to take the game away from England, such a shame Husseys snick off to 2nd slip didnt carry, and Straussy wasted the reviews so early on in the innings.....  Finny also managed to snaffle a 6fer on Ashes-debut, well done big lad!

There's been a lot of chirp around 76 today about name dropping and famous people you went to school with / played with when you were younger. We're reliably informed that PP didnt go to school with S. Finn, he merely played against him when he was a wee nipper; we're also informed by an overzealous MOD that he went to school, and or, knows most of the sporting fraternity at Chelsea FC, AFC Wimbledon and Surrey CCC.  REA tried to chip in with 'Tuffers went to my school' but was quickly smacked down by MOD.

Tonight promises to be a more chilled out viewing of the Ashes as MIH, PP and PB are all missing from 76.  REA has had a mid-afternoon nap in the hope he can stay up past the Tea Break! And MOD is busying himself with Uni work so he can sleep in tomorrow after staying up all night.

On a seperate note, you may have noticed a Poll on the right hand side of this page, this is just a bit of fun set-up by us, and it'd be nice to guage everyone's opinions.  Interesting to see nobody has Finn down yet.....

Anyway, enough mumbling from me, we'll see you all in 4 hours

REA

Ashes Blog, Day Three, Luncheon

Morning team, phil pikeman (PP) here.

First up I would like to clear up a reckless piece of journalism accusing me of schooling with a young Steven Finn this is not true!

1.17 am REA dodged his first in game beer for the evening during the drinks break on account of his mid-life/bi-sexuality crisis.  Please note that the rest of the team here at the cricket blogging HQ are still chewing on ours nearly an hour on, bad times.

1.22 am TL finds cricket depressing and turns to soft core YouTube pornography apparently about some sort of fish, he calls it COD.

1.25 am chef spills a "sitter" in the deep, chins.  REA needs to invest in herbal Viagra according to his emails and he also needs to calm down.

1.28 am Beefy strops about the chef wearing fielding pads whilst in the deep, i think he also needs to calm down!!!!

1.29 am comment from SQ accusing Steven Finn of distinct averageness.....discuss

1.31 am 307-5 oooohhhh nooooo free honey for everyone

1.32 am advertisement break and I now want to buy a jaguar

1.33 am Holding discusses his fondness for cracks and balls but resists the urge to steer the conversation towards his length.

1.38 am X J Doherty goes gold digging in his nose whilst spectating but the camera shot didn't reveal the results to excited on-lookers.

1.40 am Strauss looks under pressure after scoring like an in-form PP and REA needs to calm down, again.

1.47 am "oh close, oh wowowowowo" exclaimed M Holding in a thick calypso accent

1.48 am Collingwood confirms rumours that he is strongly considering a career as a dairy cow due to his fondness of being milked.

1.55 am MOD finds flatulence amusing and google based research confirms that pome stands for prisoner of mother England.  To bad those silly convicts don't realise they were actually the pome's until we deported them.

2.00 am it is a firm belief of mine that that humidity should be measured in testicular leg stickiness as opposed to a percentage.

post session thoughts:  call the cricket police, this is not fun to watch.
                                 hussy for 200? discuss......


yours truly

one man and his melon

Ashes 2010/11 - 1st Test: 3rd Day Mid Morning

Slightly caught out by the early start today but fortunately managed to walk in and turn the TV on in time to see Big JA bowl the first ball of the day. Relief was etched on the faces of those present.

Since we're on the subject, some noticable absences. Firstly, chief blogger REA was missing in action while guest blogger PP informed us of his "swinging by Mrs P's". He's still nowhere to be seen, it is assumed that he's jumped on the bad foot to do the good thing!

In other non cricketing news; during a lunchtime all you can eat Chinese meal, TL made the outlandish statement that he picked up the world's largest noodle. Following internet clarification we can confirm that it was not actually the longest noodle in the world. For those of you interested, the longest noodle in the world was recorded at 2,858 metres long. We suspect that TL's noodle was considerably shorter than that.

Anyway on to the cricket, so far the morning has been an unfortunate one for England. First of all, Hussey was given out LBW to Anderson but this decision was later reviewed and turned over. A few overs later, Anderson again appealed for an LBW against Hussey which was not given out, no reviews were available and the decision was not out. From an entirely inpartial standpoint, it was plum!

Other things of note, other than Anderson's dominance over Hussey were that PP did return looking very happy with himself and when questioned as to whether he had had success, he answered with a cheeky grin (that was all we needed!)

Also, Bumble remarks on commentary: "He's all over him like a cheap suit". Here at 76 Cricket we applaud both the sentiment and the average cliche phrase.

REA returns, watches one ball and retires to his bedroom to phone the ol' ball and chain. No-one is surprised.

PP finds the statement: "Mr Swann enjoys a good crack" highly amusing and proceeds to chuckle quietly to himself.

As you may have guessed, "Swann-dogg" as his closer friends call him, has come on to bowl.

Hopefully, carnage will ensure...

Regards,

Chief Sports Writer

MOD

Friday, 26 November 2010

Ashes Blog, Day 3 Update

***** Tonights guest blogger has arrived at 76********

More from PP later

Ashes Blog, Day 3

Morning folks, it's 10:15 and i'm wide awake, how is this possible??  Woke today to find Australia finish the day (allbeit prematurely) on 220-5, so thats a total of 480 runs in just under 2 days of cricket, I thought the Oz wickets were run-fests?

I also woke to find a mammoth blog from the legend that is MIH, it appears it took him nigh on 2.5hours which is a bit worrying.....

Back to the cricket, lets look back at the days play:

Not the best of starts from the England bowlers in what should have been bowler friendly conditions, however, the runs werent flowing during this poor patch and that proved costly as Shane Watson (remember him, the man who has it easy at 1st slip) snicked off to Straussy, leaving Oz 78-1.  Tricky Dicky Ponting came to the crease and after being drawn in to a few false shots saw Australia trhough to lunch with the help of Katich.

Who knows what England were given for lunch because within 2balls of the restart Munter had gone, snaffled down the legside off the bowling of Yimmy Anderson, all this despite repeated comment from Bumble that there needs to be 3slips and a gully!

This brought Michael 'bad back' Clarke to the crease and he was promptly drawn on to the front foot by some much rejuvenated English bowling.  As mentioned by MIH, Clarke escaped a decent caught behind shout. Given not out by Aleem Dar, promptly referred by Strausso and promptly re-inforced by the Third Umpire.  Snicko was later to prove there was a slight inside edge, why snicko isnt being used for referrals is beyond me!

****** Breaking News*******

Turkey farmer Bernard Matthew has passed away aged 80, I think you'll all join me saying Thank You to the man who brought us Turkey Drummers and Turkey Dinosaurs, I for one am eternally greatful!

S. Finn, the man who went to school with our very own Melon Head, managed to cling to a great low c&b to remove Simon Katich.  The 'opener' had moved past 50 before giving the tough chance to the MIddlesex man.  This brought Mr Cricket Michael Hussey to the crease and he promptly snicked to 2nd slip off of his second ball faced, only for the ball to drop agonisingly short of the waiting Graeme Swann.

A change of bowling and S.Broad (whataguy) planted one on Clarkes helmet. More good bowling kept the runs from flowing, but the introduction of Mr Swann changed that. Hussey seemed to take a liking to the off-spin, and coupling that with the indiscipline of arguably the number 1 bowler in the world the boundaries started to arrive, 11 coming of Swanny's return over.

From here it all got a little bit hazy for me as I started to doze off, despite the intake of vast quantities of Lucozade Energy.  I'm reliably informed by Sky Sports and Cricinfo.com, Michael Clarke snicked off to S.Finn attempting a pull shot, the catch going through to M. Prior (what a beard!), this brought Marcus North to the crease.

Now many people, myself included, have likened the Victoria born batsman to a young Michael O'Donnell, you make up your own mind......  North didnt stay long as next over the toiling Swann found the outside edge which presented a catch to 1st slipper extraordinaire Paul Collingwood.

Keeper Haddin came to the crease and, along with Hussey, saw Australia through to the premature close of play (brought on by bad light).

All in all a mixed bag today, slow start from England then a few quick wickets followed by some Aussie dominance and then a meander through to close of play.

Some facts for you now, the highest partnership of the Test so far..... 78runs between Shane Watson and Simon Katich, although Hussey and Haddin only need 2 runs to surpass this.  The shortest (you probably don't need me to tell you) 0runs from 3 balls between Andrew Strauss and The Chef.

It only leaves me to say, thank you to my good friend Alex Martin for the advert space in his blog, much appreciated.  Please spread the word about the blog, the support and feedback we're receiving is great!

See you all in 12 hours time, it's time for a haircut and lectures.... in that order!

REA

Ashes First Test 2010, Day 2, Mid Afternoon session

MIH reporting for duty...

Before I start I just want to put the record straight for those of you that may have recieved a text from my phone in the last day and a half, I am in fact totally free from STI's and rather certain of my hetrosexuality, despite the recent arrival of AK (if you were sitting on the sexuality fence, AK would normally pull you onto his side). All these acusations have derived from my misplaced trust in the boys and unfortunate habbit of leaving my phone lying around and my facebook signed in... Schoolboy !

WARNING WARNING... Despite doing my best to warn REA that I am possibly the worst person to let loose on his blog, he's made me do it. so I'll just warn you lot too (by you lot I mean you, our follower). I'm no S.Horne or MOD when it comes to writing prowess, in fact, some of you may be insulted by my poor SPAG (Speling, Punctuation And Grammar). Also it's got to that time in the night where I could happily bore you to death by typing and typing and typing without realising (I've been known to write 6,000 word emails at this sort of time). Basically, if we (REA, MOD and myself) were compared to the top gear team, I would be James May...

That said.... here goes...

Rather fresh from lunch, REA returns to his dent in the couch after histories longest lasting but un-recorded poo. During his absense MOD did his upmost to maintain methane levels in the new ABH (ashes blog headquarters). Meanwhile AK, our honoured guest for the evening (I can now officially say "our guest" as the motion of me moving into PB's room has been passed due to his lack of presence for the first hour and a half of the 2010 ashes and total lack of presence during the second day), has fallen asleep.

02:42- Ponting is caught behind down the leg side, I believe, 2nd ball back from the lunch break.
Seconds later and like a broken record, bumble reiterates the need for 3 slips and a gully. Apparrantly this is a key wicket, but I don't see what all the fuss is about :-) he's just an old man deperately trying to catch up with Tendulkar (",)

02:44- MOD commentary on AK
"I love how AK opened his eyes briefly to view the replay of the wicket, then instantly returned to the pink elephants in his mind..."

02:54- Finn, awesome caught and bowled, diving forward- What a guy
2 Balls later, chance at 2nd slip, what a guy
Great over by Finn, batsmen all ends up, the word 'beauty' used 3 times in 30 seconds by english commentators, what a guy
Finn- WHAT A GUY

minutes later, after some silence, REA and MOD exchange fantasies.
REA- I just want to see stumps cartwheeling
MOD- I wanna see the ball pitch straight and hit the stumps
... I can't help but feel ambivilant about these comments...and I don't even know what that word means...

MOD proudly puns, "Finn is on Fire" (the sense of pride in his voice, I can only suggest, is the result of the clever use of two words beginning with 'F'...I used to look up to MOD but right now, I'm having doubts)
Making up for this he followed up with "Micheal Clarke has great cricketing style" A comment more worthy of this blog (I'm struggling a little, can you tell?)...

Finn nearly gets 2 wickets in 2 overs following the bettering of Ponting, but a referred caught behind is found to be not out. Well... Camera said not out, hot spot said not out, but later Snicko said OUT! contraversial? discuss...?
This sadly leaves England out of reviews... Bad times...

Hussey barks at the ball following nearly every defensive shot. Has anybody else noticed this or has breathing in AK's exhaled gas left me a little high?

REA brings up the following potential debatable subjects
- the fact that in the England side, Swanny is the token...Discuss
- Mike Hussy is wearing blue helmet...Suggestions?

I'm struggling here, watching swanny get  into a rhythm of dragging it short, then watching it sail to the midwicket boundry, meanwhile trying to avoid breathing in (due to REA's chronic methane leak). I am therefore going to shift attention to the activities of REA.
03:32- REA shows weakness and threats to go to sleep
03:33- REA Decides not to be "that guy" and returns to the sofa
03:46- REA becomes "that guy"

The time is now 03:52 and MOD is still going strong. AK shows occasional signs of life, be it of a rather sedentary nature. MIH struggles to write anything interesting in this blog and resorts to referring to himself in the third person...
With reference to the above I'm going to have  my daily rant. I love AK and have looked forward to seeing him... However, here is the list of his actions in the house over the last 3-4 hours and the development of my resentment of his presence...
- Arrives and after brief man hug, proceeds to sit on MY couch, in MY seat. I say my couch because since 3 hours before the first ball of this ashes series I have left that couch only to carry out necessary bodily functions to carry on living (eating/drinking/toilet-ing). I therefore now feel a deep inner connection with this couch, almost as though we were meant for eachother and all my life so far has led up to this moment, my destiny to become one with this couch.
- When I got up to fetch him a drink during the lunch interval he adopted a more horizontal position filling the couch with the whole of his body. This leaves me squashed between REA and MOD who are farting rather competitively!
- AK is now asleep
- I feel let down, used and abused...
- Now is probably a good time to list a few of the more affectionate nick names given to AK over the years
* Ginger pubes
* Durex (colour chart) (due to the unique pattern and variation of colour of the hairs on a certain part of his body)
* Ginger 1 (as opposed to DC-Ginger 2)
* my personal favourite, Fire Crotch
- AK's prospects of making it to work for 9ish-10ish tomo morning...Low to nil...

04:03- WICKET !!! Finn...Obviously...What a guy
M.Clarke, despite his quite excellent cricketing style, goes for 9... I like him more now !

04:10- WICKET WICKET WICKET !!!
Swanny comes good, lefty caught by Colli in the slips... standard procedure

Finally a convincing spell from England... GO ON BOYS !!!

04:30- AK displays internalional level snoring and wakes himself up with one aggressive snort !

04:40, tea time... but nobody left to make tea for... I now stand (in a seated position) alone. perhaps I'll draw on AK to kill some time while these old blokes talk about what's just happened in the cricket...

05:06- They're back from tea now and the score stands at 174-5 with Hussey (49) and Haddin (11) at the crease. Hussey 49 ... That's crept up !!! and there's the half century, 42 in boundries. Good knock so far from Mr.Cricket (Hussey, not S.Horne)

I forgot to mention before by the way, that earlier on, before the start of play, I predicted, with Jedi accuracy, that Watson would snick off in the mid thirties and that would be followed by Katich, who would boringly make a few more, probably mid forties. So actually I'm probably not always to be ingored. I shall let you guys know the next time the force feels strong. I had also predicted a few small partnerships and that Australia would eventually end around the 320 mark all out. Time will tell.

With nobody to talk to it's quite tempting to just keep typing rubbish on here... I have found it to be rather therapeutic... No, I must leave... I think you'll agree (if you've made it this far without clicking onto facebook or anything else more interesting, which would be, anything else...) I'm not a natural blogger, and to carry on would be a form of cruelty, both to you the reader and to the art of blogging. Instead I'll leave it to the pro's (MOD) and the experienced (REA).

Well, lads and lasses, Peace and Love

MIH (not really sure why we are all referring to eachother in initials but hey, MIH are mine... it doesn't mean "Man In Hat" or "Mat Is Homosexual")

xxx
Guest blog from MIH coming up
Sent via the medium of Blackberry

Ashes: Day 2 - Luncheon

Pizza Light was thoroughly enjoyed by those in the cheap seat (namely AK and MIH). It was also these two critters who got overly excited and commenced celebrations before realising that they were in-fact watching a replay of an earlier wicket that was over-turned following a review. Mugs...

TL joins the forum just in time to see the fall of the first wicket, our lucky charm? Only time will tell...

Minutes later, they were celebrating for real as Watson snicked and was caught by Andrew 'Man's man' Strauss.

An interesting little statoid for you all, REA has actually been absent for the first wickets of both days play due to being on the phone to his lady-friend. He is actually yet to see a wicket fall live.

As Punter prepares to face his first ball, the anticipation gets the better of MIH who, just as Jimmy's in his delivery stride, screams: "KILL HIM". General opinion among the gallery was that these sentiments were a little strong. Remember kids, it's only a game!

Michael Holding continues to emphasise the importance of length during commentary, it's beggining to seem like he's bragging now.

RA returns to the hypothetical crease and looks perplexed as he attempts some mental arithmatic. He also continues to recite lyrics from Elton John's 'Your Song'. Lord only knows why, maybe he's going soft in his old age?

MOD eagerly prepares his puns for when Swann-dog gets a bowl. Here's to hoping that he won't be the ugly duckling today!

And he's on, swanning his way up to the wicket (sorry, that was a bit too easy).

Atherton mentions the 'Schoolboy Textbook of Test Captaincy' and one has to wonder, what do they teach in schools these days.

Finally, we would like to thank you all for your support. Continue to spread the word, and herpes!

And that's lunch, it's been a pleasure folks...

Chief Sports Writer

MOD

Day 2, mid-morning session

It's taken an hour to get enough content together for the mid-morning blog, so here goes.....

AK has tried to be black by asking REA 'what phone you fronting?' what a doofus!

During the pitch report Sir Ian Botham says conditions are perfect for the England bowlers, not quite sure what that means but as of yet they havent made a breakthrough

The Chef gave an interview to Michael Atherton before play which obviously had MOD in stitches, obviously. Talk has turned to when Eoin Morgan, everyone wants to see him its just a case of who gets dropped to accomodate him?

After having spent 30 minutes doing the washing-up earlier in the day, MIH has retired to the kitchen in the 2nd over of the the day to do some more.  Maybe the tension was too much for him?
Beefy remarks that Shane Watson has 'all the time in the world' to play a pull shot.  Does he have the facts to back it up?

Interesting fact from the boys at Sky Sports, Nasser Hussain has been involved in 9 run outs, 8 of which have seen his batting partner making his way back to the pavilion.  Reminiscent of PB for UHCC

D. Gower is talking to M. Holding about length, do we think Gower is insecure?

MIH:  'How long will it be before Vetto kills us with his obnoxious gases?'  Thats right REA's farts come out and have no repsect for anyone or anything!  Interesting tweet from Bumble, Billy Doctrove's parents are celebrating their 65th wedding anniversary.  I'm sure you'd all like to join me in wishing them congratulations.

Ak has taken he's shoes off and declared he hasnt changed his socks for 48 hours, the smell is prodigious!  Pizza Light is on it's way, infact, thats the door now.... See you all in a while

IMG00071-20101126-0007.jpg

Sent via the medium of Blackberry

Thursday, 25 November 2010

Day 2, pre morning session

Its with great pleasure we can announce the guest pundit is AK.  At the moment AK appears to not be with us, if you know what I mean......

Sky Sports are discussing ways of getting Shane Watson out, apparently pitching the ball up is key?

According to AK the morning session is going to involve a bit of leather chasing for the England boys, 'so pessimistic' from MOD.  MIH is discussing the intricacies of reverse sweeping, maybe he should stick to something he's more well versed in like playing to gully!

What are people's thoughts on short-sleeve shirts with a tie, ala Bumble?  'not a fan' remarks MOD, 'awful' from AK, MOD chips in again with "it's just not cricket" oh dear......

Day 2, 10:35pm

Evening Chaps and Chapeses, the authorities at 76 are pleased to announce the imminent arrival of a new pundit.  Stay tuned to find out his (or her) identity....

Lets bring you up to speed on what's happened today at the home of Herts Cricket:

MIH has spent 95% of the day in the same position, no not doggy, the sofa you dirty-minded people!

REA had to work at 1pm, despite drinking a 'Lucozade Energy Shot' and an Espresso, he struggled miserabley.  He later went to Harvester and gorged on chicken, ribs and ice cream

MOD had a 1pm lecture, he later came home and finished an essay (rock and roll....)

PB is AWOL, suspected to have gone in search of honey and salmon

MOD and REA are in discussions as to where the new pundit lives and who's going to pick him (or her) up

more from 76 during the build up to the 2nd days play

Day 2, 11am

Woken up by MOD to the news England were bowled out for 260, reliably informed by MIH that Bell topped scored so the bet didnt come to fruition.

I'm joined in my bed by PB to get his thoughts on the first days play...

REA: So PB, what did you make of Englands start to the Ashes?

PB: (deep breath) I wont lie to you, it's a disappointing start. I had faith in the boys and they've let me down.  On a seperate note, that handsfree can opener looks amazing, and theres a fit bird in this advert too!

REA: Thanks for that, can you give me your opinion on the 1st hours play

PB: I'm afraid I cant, I was otherwise engaged.

Well thanks for the informative interview PB, I look forward to picking your brains throughout the series.

Join me later for more indepth analysis of the first day, with an exclusive interview from MOD.

goodbye for now, scouts!

1st Test, Day One, 4:20am

Shane Watson's got it down hasn't he......  2nd change bowler, 1st slip and opening batsman, talk about my bat my ball! reminds me of a young SH

The band of first day brothers is dwindling, SS has gone to sleep, MIH has dozed off on the couch (REA has promptly balanced digestive biscuits on his head); MOD has gone for, what can only be descrived as, a 'comfort break' and REA is chilling on the sofa, eyelids heavy!

The kettle is on, and the chocolate borbouns are being broken out, if anythings going to get the 76 brigade through to close of play it'll be tea and chocolate biscuits, a la MOD.

As for the England Batsmen, REA has a bet with MOD that the Chef will top score with a ton, and Dinger looks in good nick (the middle of the blade sounds beautiful!)

And it's starting to rain at The Gabba, could this mean an early tea break?

1st Test, Day One Photos

MIH cant hack the pace

SS going for a cheeky nap

MOD does his best to stop SS from napping

First Test, Day One, Mid-Afternoon Session

Ok readers, a cheeky little mid-session update for you.

2:53am extravagent NO from KP cause PB to burst in to tears (of laughter not sorrow)

2:56am MIH visits the toilet for the 5th time this evening, on returning he informs the minions that his toilet activity has been '50/50'

2:59am Thursdays dinner has been confirmed courtesy of KW

3am Aussies shout Awwwwwww
       The Chef's helmet = ridiculous (but not as bad as the beacon)

3:03am KP creams a drive through the covers, MOD is heard to remark 'Oz outfields are as big as PB's Helmet' whatever that means....

3:11am PB retires to his bedroom, who knows why!

3:13am NELSON strikes, who can keep their leg up (whey!)  PB out of his bedroom, trip to the WC

3:16am PB makes way back to bedroom......What's he doing?!

3:17 NELSON's gone, 4 minutes of strenuous leg work, MOD comments "I'm feeling the strain in my right Hip Flexor and quad"

3:25 Edged and gone, KP drives at one outside Off-Stump and edges to Punter at 2nd slip, Ohhhhhh no!
MIH remarks 'FUCK OFF!'

3:33 'Length is key' according to Athers

The going is getting tough in 76, PB has decided to nest in REA's bed, dunno why, its bloody cold in there!  MOD is wandering around the lounge looking for things to do, and MIH is in a drunken cricket trance..... Conclusion is, he wants his bed.

REA remarks that it's quite worrying that Collingwood is in ahead of Bell, MOD nods in agreement (or maybe he's dozing off)

Oh no, another wicket, just after a closed drive down the ground Collingwood snicks one through to 1st slip, REA looks like he was right!

More from 76 in an hour or so, the writers need some rest

Humouring the Vet

While most sports writers and commentators will be discussing Stauss' early demise and Kevin Pieterson's battle with the new left arm spinner, Xavier Marshall, here at 76 Cricket there was a different battle taking place.

I am of course, referring to that between England opening batsman Alistair Cook and Highgate wasteman Mattew Ivor Holly. Not the conventional cricketing duel, I'll give you that.

None the less, while many may have been concentrating on the issues mentioned above, Cook's tentative strokes in the first hour and a half of play would have been noted by the cricket connoisseurs among us. For many, it appeared to be a case of how long it would take for his wicket to fall rather than whether it would happen.

However, those of us in attendance of 76 High found it near impossible not to contrast Cook's innings to aforementioned Matty Holly's drunken state. For every dodgy shot that Cook played, Holly drank another Fosters. At 02:00 am GMT the count was eight cans of Fosters. For those of you who know Mr Holly this is, at least surprising, as he is for want of a better word - a light-weight.

Regardless, bowls were bowled, wickets were taken, runs were scored and we all wondered how long it would be before Mr Holly showed everyone his dinner.

Oh yeah, and during his first blog, Robert 'The Veteran' Apple asked how to spell "certain". Bloody engineers...

Regards,

Chief Sports Writer

Mikey

First Test, Day One, Post Luncheon Interval

Lots of comments coming thick and fast, more to the point PB has motored through his wine and is making good progress to finishing before the start of the afternoon session.

TL has made a sporadic appearance, taking a break from COD but its only a brief visit as he's back upstairs.

As a matter of house-keeping, MOD needs help picking up the names he's dropped, Mark Butcher, Michael Carberry (if you want a mode of transport and some fruit), Alec Stewart etc etc what a guy!

PB remarks that Colchester is lacking in International Players.  He's also told 'Less of that, more of that'

Official quote from PB 'Im suffering a crisis of conscience'

2:37am Racist remarks begin, see REA

2:38am PB gets aggressive and finishes wine challenge (aggressively)

2:41am PB admits to trying on MUGGS, much discussion follows re: Maldon Mud Race and The Chefs place of birth

2:51am KP appears to be finding some kind of form, and that brings up the England century 101-2

First Test, Day One, Lunch

Thanks for those comments MOD, very journalistic of you.....

ok a brief update as to whats happened since the original blog:

1:46am The Chief cuts one towards point, Xavier Doherty puts it down, chins big lad!

1:50am MIH leave phone alone, REA proceeds to make jovial texts from said handset
            PB still not in touch

1:55am Bumble says 'wang it down' to much hilarity!

2:00am MIH has reached 8 cans of lager, he's now on 'borrowed beer'
            KP moves purposefully to the crease as observed by MIH and REA

Lunch comes up and England are 86-2, REA remarks thats not too bad considering the start.  MOD has been hogging the laptop to post ludicrous comments.

Pre luncheon commercial break it is remarked that David Gower has a 'lazy eye'

2:07am  PB returns home 2hrs 25mins late, his fine is to finish a bottle of wine before the start of the afternoon session (good luck maaaaaate, chins!)

PB remarks he carried KW +1 to halls, got quizzed by RAs and saw boob and fanny.

See you all at the start of the 2nd session

1st Test, Day One

So, here we are, 24th November 2010, the day has consisted of various text all building up to tonights 1st session. A certain MOD put in a very notable text this morning.... 'ashes ashes ashes ashes ashes ashes.... etc etc'

10pm cam around and MIH turned up at the home of Herts Cricket complete with Doritos, Pringles, Chocolate Borbouns, Chocolate Digestives and various dips, good lad... shame he's drinking our beers!

11:30pm, a distinct lack of PB in the house, who knows wheres he is....  The toss, Straussy wins and decides to Bat, MOD reacts with 'Good Lad!', REA seems a bit more dubious

12am, REA finds himself on the phone to the gf, such bad timing, but still manages to watch the 1st ball (now thats multi-tasking!) however, he misses the wicket of Strauss. 'After all the build-up, England couldnt have gotten off to a worse start' said MOD

Lots of wine has been drunk by now, and time seems to have skipped several minutes.....

Trott has gone, it's no surprise to REA, he knew there'd be trouble early on!

1.40am REA gets the green light from the gf to have a good time, she's gone to bed!  MOD has been on a green pass all evening the lucky so and so!

1.45am  this Xavier Doherty, apart from sounding like a character from X-Men, seems to be doing a job for the convicts, we'll see if KP can take a shine to him though.......

thats it for now, more later on, lets hope the guinness and lucozade can do a trick